


Death be not Proud

by Yamiga



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance, Takes place after 143, breakdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 18:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3456599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yamiga/pseuds/Yamiga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The device that Hide placed on Yamori was more than a tracker. Months later, while cleaning out the house, Hide discovers that it has a built in voice recorder. Curious and anxious, he decides to listen to the playback.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Death be not Proud

Hide had just moved another box into the garage yet, things didn't show any sign of clearing up in the living room. All he and Kaneki's things were still stacked up in containers, boxes and bags, just ready to be sorted out. Hide only sighed when he stepped into the living room, anticipating about three more hours of sorting and cleaning.

 

Kaneki was out and about, getting groceries and curtains, as Hide had instructed so needless to say, he wouldn't be getting any help. _Just my luck,_ he thought, sitting down on some more boxes that he and Kaneki had crafted into a makeshift sofa.

 

Moving into a new house, an actual house at that, was a dream Hide always had. However, stealing Kaneki from the CCG after the Antieku raid, starting a rocky but successful relationship with him, becoming official, and _then_ moving into a sweet 'honey moon' style house together, was a fantasy with just a _little_ fiction. Whenever Hide thought about how far they'd come, and how much they could've lost he found himself smiling. They came far, with enough sacrifice, but they had no doubt made it, and they were happy and free.

 

There were of course, awkward things that had happened along way for instance, Hide hadn't gotten Kaneki right away from the CCG, it took time and planning. And when he had rescued him (and in addition wiped both their files clean), Kaneki was dazed, partially blind, suffering memory loss and his hair....was two different colors. Black on the top, white on the bottom....like pudding. Thankfully, the memory loss had subsided, the blindness...well, he still needed glasses, and his hair never turned normal again, not that Hide minded. As long as Kaneki was Kaneki.

 

With these all to heartwarming thoughts in mind, Hide almost smiled, _almost._ The mess in the living room however quickly crafted his lips into a frown. So sighing, and wasting no time, he stood and spotted one of the many boxes labeled 'Hide's Stuff'. Kneeling down, he tore the tape off and instantly began pulling the contents from the box. There were his old detective novels, his folders full of CCG files, some information on Kaneki...etc...etc...etc...And then he paused.

 

He held in his hand, something oddly familiar. It just took some time to remember what it was. “My tracking devices...” He sat down for a few seconds before observing the little things in his palms. While they brought back rather heated memories, it was interesting that they made the trip. From what Hide saw, they seemed to be in good condition. He instinctively clicked the little button on the side and waited for a while until the light lit up.

 

“It still works_” Cut off in mid sentence, he heard a strange noise coming from the little device _. Eh?_ He thought, holding it to his ear. He first heard a few muffled sounds, some chains rattling and some random movement. Suddenly the noise stopped.

 

_So it was a recording device too? I never knew..._

 

Curiously, Hide fiddled with some buttons until a few more beeping noises followed. On the side of the device, there was a volume dial, which he turned all the way up. He listened in silence as voices became more and more audible. Slowly, yet steadily, memories began to pop into Hide's brain as he remembered, in detail, just what he'd used these devices for.

 

_Yamori..._

_Kaneki...._

_CCG...._

 

_Is this Yamori's voice?_

 

Hide's question was answered far sooner than he expected as a rather insane, and drawn out yell sounded from the device. Shaken, he nearly dropped it. But something kept his ears on alert, something distant, yet very imminent. He held it to his ear as another voice resonated from the background in a screaming and crying hysteria.

 

Hide froze suddenly, instantly recognizing the owner of the voice. The screams continued, the pleading, the begging, the counting...yet Hide just couldn't seem to drop the device. It felt as if his heart had turned to mush, yet at the same time, he felt a stone weighing in his chest. Chilled sweat rolled down his neck and his hair stood up. He remained there, like a statue, listening to Kaneki's torture. He feared that if he dared to move a limb, his whole body rupture, leaving him a mess. So he listened, to every bit.

 

Tears of course, automatically ran down his cheeks, stinging the red skin beneath them. Somehow, after what seemed like hours, Hide brought a shaking hand to his mouth. After emitting a few silent and muffled sobs, his body finally gave in and he fell to his side. With the recorder next to him, the sound still played, but he couldn't hear it amongst his own crying.

 

With both hands now covering his mouth, he attempted not to sob out loud, but he failed. He couldn't contain his emotions any longer, like he had been for months. He had tried to be strong, and up until now, it had worked. Now, here he was, crying like a baby.

 

But he couldn't help himself.

 

If anything, that recording had made him realize just how weak he was. He couldn't do anything except follow Kaneki around all those months. He was just useless...no wonder Kaneki stayed away from him, no wonder he went with the ghouls. He didn't want to be around Hide, someone who would only drag him down. It was only a matter of time before_

 

“Hide!” Kaneki's voice interrupted his thought process as he quickly attempted to stop crying.

 

The half ghoul, nearly tripping over boxes, made way to Hide's side. He was caught of guard when he saw Hide crying on the floor, and even more worried when he heard the recording device. He looked down and saw the little thing next to Hide. It didn't take him that long to figure out what it was.

 

_Oh no...Hide, you didn't!_

 

“Did you listen to this?” Kaneki asked, kneeling down, taking the gadget in his hand and crushing it. Hide, still teary eyed, didn't answer. So Kaneki softly shook him and asked again. “Hide, did you listen to this?”

 

A blanket of silence fell, save for Hide's whimpers. Kaneki, sighing, forced his arms under Hide and lifted him up. Holding him close, he dodged some boxes, made way up stairs then to the bed room, where he placed Hide on the bed. They still didn't have the comforter, but the sheets did nicely. Kaneki made sure Hide was comfortable, made sure his head was on the pillow and pulled the blanket over him.

 

“Are you still cold?” He asked, crawling next to him. With no answer, he straddled his arms around Hide and pulled him close. Hide remained rather solid. Kaneki closed his eyes and gazed into Hide's. He scooted forward and placed a kiss on Hide's forehead, or at least tried to. Hide pushed him a way.

 

“Hide...”

 

“I'm weak.” Hide muttered. “That's why you didn't want to be around me...that's why you left me in the dark...” He turned around so that his back was facing Kaneki. “Because I can't do anything...”

 

“Don't start_”

 

“Why didn't you ever tell me?!” Hide began to sob. “W...why did you keep me in the dark?”

 

“You didn't need to know Hide!” Kaneki finally admitted. “Why would I burden you with something like that? Just look how you're acting now_”

 

“That doesn't mean anything,...”

 

“Listen, all that matters is that you're safe, and you're here. I can protect you_”

 

“But I couldn't even protect you.” Hide quickly sat up and moved towards the edge of the bed. “I'm so...I just...”

 

“What?”

 

“I'm so useless Kaneki! I'm so useless too you...and I only wanted to be strong for you...and...and....” Hide went silent for a while, right before making little whimpering noises. His shoulders sagged and trembled as he brought his palms to his face. Silently, he began to sob. Kaneki sighed as his heart shattered in his own chest. He sat up, hopped off of the bed and walked over to the book shelf. He grabbed a familiar poetry book, that Hide had bought him a while ago. Walking back over to the bed, he used one hand to push a hysterical Hide down.

 

Laying down, and pulling Hide close to him in his arm, he held the book above the two of them, to a bookmarked page. He was pretty sure it wouldn't work now, but in the past, reading to Hide always put him at ease, so he decided to test that out.

 

“ _Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Might and dreadful, for thou art not so; For....”_ He continued on, and waited for the little trembles to die down and for Hide to stop protesting. _“Much pleasure;that from thee much more must flow, and soonest out best men with thee do go,”_ By now, Hide, amidst his hysteria, actually hugged Kaneki. _“On short sleep past, we wake eternally...”_ Kaneki dropped the book and pulled Hide into his arms.

 

“ _And death shall be no more; Death thou shalt die.”_

 

With Hide close to him, he placed a soft kiss on the crown of his head. “Don't ever say you're useless to me. You're everything to me.”

 

Hide had stopped crying, though he still sniffled. However, Kaneki was sure that for now, he was calm.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Death be not Proud is a poem by John Donne, you should read it!  
> Oh, and this was a tumblr request/prompt.  
> Hope you all enjoyed, tell me what you think!


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